I don’t really have anything to say but I haven’t written in forever, so here goes.  I am still freaking out about this trip.  More so freaking out because I am still dealing with back pain (at this point it’s mostly pins and needles  in my calves and feet and not much actual back pain…which is good and bad.)  I just want it to go away!!!  I can’t see how I can go to Australia and enjoy myself when I’m feeling this way, but I want to make this trip so, so, so badly.  I’m not about to give up or anything, but each day takes me closer and closer to the day I’m supposed to leave and each day I am filled simultaneously with more excitement and more sadness.  It sucks.  Of course I realize things could be much worse and I know I don’t have much right to complain but it’s a terrible feeling to constantly have this thing in the back of your mind reminding you that no matter what you do you might not get to fulfill your current dream.  Regardless of all of this, I am still trying to stay positive.  Really, I am. 🙂  And even if this Australia trip gets postponed or never happens at all, as long as I know I’ve done my best to try to make it happen, I’ll have to be satisfied with the outcome.  Maybe it just isn’t meant to be…

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